I pretty much fell apart and have been sweeping up the pieces since Tris left our family to pursue her own healing and well-being. I don't blame her in any way. She had to do what she felt needed to be done, and in a way, I think she is the bravest person I know. She walked her own path and it cost her, the boys, and I everything. I am no saint, I do get angry and I still cry every day, but I also tell myself that she is good and deserves to make her own way in this world. Our family still misses her every day.
For my part, I have become fairly depressed. Homemade dinners gave way to frozen and boxed foods more nights than not; when the kids aren't home, I don't really eat anyway. The garden looks like shit. I don't have the energy to water or weed it after 8 or more hours working outside. I even bought an elderberry bush for the garden so I could have fresh berries for medicinal uses, as well as food. It's still in it's pot waiting to be planted. (Now that I have typed this out, it will be in the ground by this evening.) My worms in my kitchen compost have all mostly passed on; I saw a few today when I fed and watered them. My bakashi compost bucket was empty until 20 minutes ago. It's been pretty lame. I have been trying to figure out the point of life when the love of your life has flown the coop.
I am writing today to say that I have started the Bokashi compost again, I have mango fruit leather in the oven, and the worm bin was tended to. I am trying to come back. I really am. Any encouragement that doesn't start with, "Time heals all wounds" will be greatly appreciated.
I guess I better get to digging the hole for the elderberry bush.
