Friday, July 19, 2013

Losing, remembering...

It's time for this weeks Currently post. I know that's all I am writing now, but I have a few things up my sleeve. Right now, we are waiting for our pizza dough to rise, so we can have fresh pizza for dinner. I will post a recipe later. Tomorrow, there is a bokashi composting class that I am attending. I am buying my kit while I am there, so I can get started right away. As of now, we are composting with our worm bin and also we are saving bigger scraps for the community garden. Now, I will have a third tool in my composting arsenal. That may be the highlight of my week.

I only have two of my littles home with me. The other is helping his dad prepare for his (dad's) wedding, which we are attending tomorrow afternoon. Chances are good we will be the only queers there. I am not quite sure what I am going to do with my big hair, but I am determined this time to grow it out for my dreads, so I will figure something out that doesn't involve scissors.

Loving the smell of yeast-y dough, the thought of a perfect pizza made by our hands, the thought that I have a week to be with my littles and cook them amazing food, and my new huge basil plant. We have a great basil plant already thriving on our balcony and now we will have two! Did you know Safeway (Kroger for some of you) sells potted herbs that transplant well? Also, you can use your food stamps to pay for them. Tris and I are also loving Orange is the New Black on Netflix. It's funny and smart and gay and makes us happy!

Losing sleep talking to T before we go to bed at night. Pillow talk is so much better when the person's head is on the pillow right next to you (and even better when their body is connected to their head...just sayin'). I also think I have been losing weight. Tris and I have been eating awesome meals with fresh produce from the Farmer's Market or our gardens at almost every meal. The other night we ate grilled cheese with raw cheddar, basil, and pears. It was so friggin' good!

Remembering the way it used to be. I had a very long talk with my mom a couple of weeks ago. What she said is really starting to sink in. All I have left are memories now. It is clear that there is no hope. This hope I speak of is something I didn't know I was holding onto. Needless to say, I have been a lot in my head this week, but I have been able to articulate some of these feelings to T. She's been a real trooper and told me that she loves me. That was the only thing I needed to hear and it was perfect. She's pretty amazing and I am lucky to have her as my partner.

Clearing out the past, one hurt at a time and making room for a future of smiles, laughs, tears, joys, new hurts, dreams, pain, life on life's terms.

Picking makes me think of my nose. I like choosing better. Is that allowed, Linz? I am choosing my dress to wear to my ex-husbands wedding tomorrow. When he got married the first time, picking out a dress was much harder. Ha! I am happy for him, although I am not convinced that he is happy. I like his lady, she is kind and smart. I am hoping for good food and many smiles. His family still likes me and that makes everything easier.

So much going on this week. I am loving re-reading this post. I cannot wait for pizza time! In the meantime, I will go out to the garden and take some pictures to post later. Our garden rocks!

As an aside, Number Two just told me when puberty strikes, he striking back...with a Bic. He plans to shave every bit of man-hair he grows! That's awesome, but I doubt that will last...


  1. Dreads: Yes.
    I will come see you soon. Don't know when yet but within the next month for sure...missing you!
    Hi to T. Will be cool to have you both there!

  2. Oh now I am really stoked!!!! I can't wait to see you!!!!! Love you, see you soon!